My doctor visit and what I caught someone who is not Bonita Dixon doing at Heinens

Yesterday before I left for the grocery store and the gynecologist, I wrote in my blog that I was going to have my Vagina examined.

Well, this evidently upset my son Bruce who told me that in no uncertain terms that the blog needn't include such graphic detail.  I told him that he was being silly. It is a perfectly natural task to go to ones doctor and have preventive medical care, and that includes having ones vagina examined semi annually, does it not?

And it is a silly woman who can not say the word Vagina, let alone take herself and get it examined.  Indeed, why should be ashamed of our reproductive system?  Well, what say you?

This admission almost made Bruce insane at the shear mention of the examination.  Bruce sometimes forgets that he and his older twin brother were both vaginally delivered when they were born, so why should it be an issue now?

So I said  the word.  "Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, Bruce," I said.  "It has a name and it is by it's name that we call it what it should be called."  To which he replied "Oh, Mother!"

Bruce has always had issues with the Vagina. Thankfully his twin brother Chip has no such issues.  They are the ying and the yang, so to speak.

As a young child my mother insisted that I call it my "kitten".  And as I grew older there were other names for it, many which I am sure that you all know.  But the word "Vagina" is the medically acceptable name and that is what it should be called, no?  After all, we are all adults, presumably, so using the word V-A-G-I-N-A, or its Latin root of Cunnis shouldn't shock anyone, and if it does than shame on you.  Yes, you.  The person reading this.  I say shame on you for not saying Vagina!

Anyway Dr. Rosenblatt,  my gynecologist, proclaimed me healthy and suggested that I do Kegel exercises to tone myself.  In fact, I am doing them now because it is practical to do so.  So that is that.

Bonita Dixon when she isn't tasting grapes

More shocking though than a pelvic exam was what I witnessed at Heinen's.  I shall not say her name only to say that it was not Bonita Dixon that I witnessed, sampling one too many grapes.  Yes, one should taste their grapes before buying a bunch, but one need not try two or even twenty as the person who is not Bonita Dixon was doing.  No wonder food prices continue to escalate when you have people like Bonita Dixon (not that I saw her, but I'm just using her as an example) munching their way through the produce section.

Today I am going to the attend the charade that passes for the Episcopalian Ladies Guild Meeting and we are discussing ways that children should dress for winter.  A member will stand up and say "Wouldn't it be grand if we could pool our resources and buy coats for the underprivileged for the coming winter?"  Fortunately, we've all been to this meeting long enough that this will be our cue to get our our check books and make a donation.  And I shall turn toward one of the members who is not Bonita Dixon and suggest that she add a couple dollars to clear her karma for the grapes that she feels are placed at the store for her to munch on while shopping.

Such is life, no?

Until next time, this Mrs. Edwin Smith-Standish signing off and urging to to have your Vagina's examined as part of your preventative care regimen.